Kvetch.Kvetch.Kvetch.

It's a gorgeous almost fall day outside. Sunny, breezy, kid with Autism not in too much mania, you know, the PERFECT day. Except for drama. Why does there always have to be drama? Why can't I just enjoy a nice day. I don't remember the last time I enjoyed a day.

**FROM HERE DOWN IS NOTHING BUT A BIG PITY PARTY BITCH FEST. CONTINUE READING OR NOT. BUT IF YOU CONTINUE READING, PLEASE, EITHER COMMENT WITH SUPPORTIVE "There there" TYPE COMMENTS OR STFU...BECAUSE YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED READING.*****

Seriously, I do not create drama. I usually go out of my way to avoid drama, often at the expense of my own sanity. Well, there's a futile effort because I deny myself and end up with more than my damn share of drama.

I have always worked hard to ensure that people around me are happy. I'm a little Cinderella-ish in that way because I feel like I sleep near fires and everything around me is all dirty....but I want to make everyone happy....but I'm a little tired of nobody caring if I am ACTUALLY happy. They want me happy enough that I don't lash out and make them miserable...but actually helping to prevent me from that lashing out, nah. Too much effort it seems.

Putting things back where you got them (better yet, back where they were when I put them away...because in all likelihood, you picked them up after someone else picked them up and just put them wherever.)

Hanging up a towel? seriously, you like mold? Yeah, I don't. It's gross. Preventing easier than cleaning.

Putting clean clothes away so they don't imitate the dirty ones? I'm TIRED OF SO MUCH LAUNDRY. I don't mind laundry from people wearing clothes. But how many outfits you need in a day? TWO. Work/School and relaxing clothes. But washing clothes because someone couldn't be bothered to put them away and little stimmer stimming and throwing them on filthy floor? Yeah, ticks me off. Makes my left eye twitch. Pretty sure that's a serial killer "tell".

Unloading dishwasher? Those things are clean. Put them away (again, see, put them away where they belong). You won't get cooties from them. I promise.

That brings me to the kitchen sink/hazardous waste gathering place. Do that one up there ^ and then rinse your dishes and put them in dishwasher. Then that disgusting smell won't build. Those gnat/fruitfly whatever things...won't hang out. Seriously. PREVENTION.

Seriously. Get me some help before I need some professional help. Or just get me a damned straightjacket and take me away so I can get some sleep.

A little fall of rain

It's a rainy day/evening here in New Mexico--a rare one. It's not all monsoony and floody...well, it has been at times, but it's now more a gentle little fall of rain that can't hurt me now. Yeah, I totally just plagiarized one of my favorite musicals...but it is stream of consciousness writing weather with the stream of water rushing down the curbside. It is a gentle pitt-patt of rain outside that I listen to right now with the door open. It is a small chill in the air that makes my toes cool and reminds me that fall is falling all around.

I am also listening to Pandora radio..on the "soothe the savage beast" station that bounces between some of my favorites from the 80s & 90s--New Age music that I loved to listen to when the cool October rains fell all around the campus of KU, making the tree trunks dark and the large colorful leaves brighter in comparison. It soothes the savage beast inside of my beautiful son so that a peace can overtake him and allow him the rest his active body so desperately needs. I hope that his dreams are as peaceful as his face in repose.

He enjoys the gentle fall of rain as well. Was pure faerie magic to watch him skip and spin in the rain--arms outstretched so that as much of him could be touched by the light caress of water falling from the sky; his face upturned in rapturous delight as the drops kiss his impossibly long eyelashes. My delight in that was equaled only by the sound of his belly giggles as he swung on his rope in the heavier rains. His frenzy actually controlled by him--whipping himself around the tree trunk, once getting a little too close to the wading pool of water whose level was higher thanks to the blessing of rain--his little bottom getting entirely soaked dipping in, oh how he LAUGHED. I'd once heard that a child's laughter gives birth to faeries--well, there was certainly a faerie baby boom this afternoon should there be truth in that! His laugh is the caulk in the heart cracks caused by our inability to effectively communicate as often as I would like.

And now I may turn off the music and listen to nature's song....and try to keep from stealing Eponine's song. . .