I have green eyes, just like you....

Apparently I once told my green eyed mother, "I have green eyes, just like you." Well, if you know me or have seen any photos of me, you know my eyes are as brown as brown can be. My eyes may not be the color green of my mother's, but they are green today for other reasons.

It's not easy for me to admit, but they are green like the green-eyed monster of jealousy. It's not pretty, but unfortunately it's true. I figure, the first step is admitting it.

I am jealous of people who don't have to constantly use pictures to communicate (or attempt to) with their child.

I am jealous of people that don't have to lock their cabinets and refrigerators because of more than the normal kid-getting-into-cabinet-and-spilling-entire-packages-0f-cereal/gatorade/rice/milk/soda/bread/mother's sanity that other people have to deal with daily.

I am jealous of people who don't have to battle to keep their children into carseats. And by battle, I mean BATTLE. As in I have wounds. Bruises, scratches, bite marks, pinches. I have yet to have a broken bone although my nose begs to differ. (And, yes, I know that my nose is cartilage. But broken cartilage can't feel much better, especially when it's on the front of your face. Oh, I forgot that my elbow, which had been fractured about 20+ years ago has swelling and brusing and could be micro-fractured again. Yep. Just because someone's sister got out of the car without him.

I am jealous of people that don't lie partially awake every night worrying that their child will again figure out how to get windows open and climb out just because the outside is so damned tempting.

I am jealous of people that get naps.

I am jealous of people who have outside assistance so that there is respite.

I am jealous of people that don't have to wipe poop off their 5 year olds on top of all of the other shit.

I am jealous of people who are stronger than I and have created a world for themselves where they provide help to others, can ask for help from others, can accept help from others and then get a home built especially for them to make their struggles easier. (yay for the family that has a home and land and are financially secure and were lucky enough to have ABC come build them an extreme home and get a Hawaiian vacation out of it.)

I am jealous of people that can pee in peace.

I am jealous of people that don't have shredded toilet paper carpeting their floors.

I am jealous of people that don't have to interrupt their selfish blogging time to clean up spilled mountain dew because I forgot to put it in the locked refrigerator.

I am jealous.